The speaker announced…

“Your feelings are not reality”

I don’t remember much of the talk thereafter

I only remember those words

Etched deep into me like the validation I needed

Covering years of denied feelings

I wrote those words in big letters on top of my notebook and even bigger ones on my heart

It became my daily mantra not to feel

.…A hurt would arise….

Don’t confront, Don’t feel- Your feelings are not reality…. God said, “Forgive 70 x 7” … It’s not that big of a deal…Let it go


….Then sadness would flood in…

What right do you have to be sad? God said, “Rejoice always”…Your feelings are not reality, put on a smile


Then guilt and shame would overtake

“You shouldn’t be feeling this way! What’s wrong with you? Your life is so easy.”….. Push your feelings away


Stuff until you can’t stuff anymore

Until your heart is ripping open at the seams and the lid won’t stay shut anymore

Stuff until you wake up to the reality that you forgot how to feel

That as you pushed your feelings away, you pushed God away too

That you completely shut off a part of you

A beautiful part that God created

That your feelings (the “good” and the “bad”) are who you really are

They are REAL

Stuffing and hiding are PRETENDING

Walking with God to explore your feelings and how to respond in a loving, healthy way are REAL

And living in reality brings great freedom

“When it comes to feelings, we need to avoid the extremes- we should neither neglect our emotions nor allow them to run our lives. We don’t want to put them either in the trunk or the driver’s seat,” Geri Scazzero

I’ve also found this prayer to be very helpful when dealing with negative emotions:

Dear Lord,

I humbly lay before you this feeling of ____________. I want the light of your truth to shine upon it and help me know how to respond. Do I have sin that I need to confess? Please reveal. Do I need to confront someone with truth and love? Please give me words of grace. Do I have past hurts that have been triggered? Please show them to me that your healing touch may mend. Do I need to simply surrender? Please help me to truly let go. I thank you that you are always with me; that your love and truth is my rock. I pray you give me wisdom to proceed; may your Word and presence light my path.  

“Listen to my words, Lord, consider my lament. Hear my cry for help, my King and my God, for to you I pray. In the morning, Lord, you hear my voice; in the morning I lay my requests before you and wait expectantly” Psalm 5:1-3


How about you? Do you need to find your feelings? Do you struggle to process your emotions? What is God teaching you in this area? I would love to hear from you!


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